Submission number: 3951
I am probably gay but will never come out.
Submitted: August 12, 2017 6:02:22 AM SAST
Posted by Rhodes Confessions 2017 on Saturday, August 12, 2017
A simple wish by an individual which many fail to understand.
The culture of outing people has been normalized. Peoples livelihoods are being drastically affected for the sake of gossip or the intention of being malicious. It’s unfortunate and ironic that this culture has found its way and has been promoted in queer spaces for the longest time.
Submission number: 4520
All these Rhodents who are only gay/queer/lesbian when they in Grahamstown and are completely different when they are home we see you.
Submitted: August 21, 2017 4:16:31 PM SAST
Posted by Rhodes Confessions 2017 on Monday, August 21, 2017
Faced with the harsh realities of discrimination that take place on the basis of one’s sexual orientation or gender identity, some queer individuals will often keep their gender identity or sexual orientation to themselves or a smaller group of people. The reasons for not coming out can be based on many factors from, simply not being comfortable to more drastic fears of their relationships with their loved ones being destroyed. The latter is very possible, especially if one takes into account that, the idea that “Homosexuality is un-African” is a popular idea which is promoted in various African countries.
TRIGGER WARNING
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Many countries in Africa have established laws which discriminate against queer individuals, it’s these ideas and laws which have resulted in various homophobic communities.
Although the South African constitution promises various rights for queer individuals, they still face problems on a daily basis. Coming out in a homophobic society will most likely result in an individual having traumatic experiences. The more frequent problem, which surrounds queer individuals, is “Corrective Rape”, which affects a lot of queer womxn. Is this not a valid enough reason for someone to not come out publicly?
Even though some people project their inner homophobia it still doesn’t justify outing them
Queer people have to live in a society which a lot of times isn’t accepting of them, with studies showing that homophobic individuals are most likely queer themselves, it’s often tempting for them to out people, in order to expose the hypocrisy. A problem I have with this is, by outing someone with the intention of shaming them, then are you accepting that your identity is a shame?
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sourced from: Giphy
The Rhodes Music Radio show, “Sex and Sexualities”, engaged with a similar problem last year. Where certain individuals discussed a persons sexuality on twitter. One of the presenters, Sibusiso Khuzwayo condemned their actions, by arguing that “Although these individuals were patriarchal, it doesn’t justify outing them,” He further stressed his opinion about the culture of outing people by arguing that, “We need to understand that people come from different backgrounds,” and outing people can result in drastic consequences for the victims.
Like many other queer individuals Deepika Naidoo was outed. “There were people in that room, who I knew would treat me differently because I had been outed,” at that very moment, Deepika Naidoo’s autonomy over her own body, was stripped away from them. An Individual she trusted, no matter how good their intentions were meant to be, had changed an their social interactions and disturbed a journey of self discovery.
An anonymous source condemned outing by arguing that “Even if it is [Sexuality] totally accepted in a space” outing someone results in a major lifestyle changed and “can be very damaging.”
It’s time for something to be done about this culture. Many do not realise how damaging outing an individual can be, with a society that’s still evidently homophobic and transphobic, it’s only fair that people start respecting peoples privacy when it comes to their sexuality and gender identities.
Special thanks to Sibusiso Khuzwayo and Deepika Naidoo.
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SOMETHING 